For most of my life, I always tried to please other people. I would do my hair a certain way, dress a certain way, even listen to a certain kind of music. All because I wanted to fit in. All because I wanted people to like me. I wanted to be popular soo bad because I thought that being popular meant that everyone liked you. It was so bad for me. Mean comments would absolutely TEAR ME DOWN. The comments were very hurtful but the main reason they would affect me so much was because I felt like everything I was doing wasn't working and that what I was doing was never enough to be liked. I didn't get it. I would wake up every morning and put on this mask of a person who definitely wasn't me, a mask that I thought everyone liked, become that nicest person on the planet and people still didn't like me??? People still didn't want to be my friend and still said mean things about me??? Why was that?
It took me so long to realize an important message. ITS MY LIFE AND I DESERVE HAPPINESS. Think of it this way: you are deciding what to wear and you have two options in front of you, a red shirt and a blue shirt. Group A wants you to wear the red shirt and Group B want you to wear the blue shirt. Which shirt do you choose? Putting on either shirt will make the opposing group upset. You really don't like the colors red or blue either, so again which shirt do you put on? I'll tell you. You should put on whatever color shirt you want! You can't make everyone happy and its not your job to! So you might as well make your own self happy and put on whatever color shirt you want. At the end of the day this is YOUR LIFE. YOU COME FIRST. YOU DESERVE HAPPINESS. The truth is, doing something you don't really want to do and pretending to be someone you're not, just to make other people happy, is just going to make you miserable.
I sometimes look back on old pictures of me and don't even recognize myself because it wasn't me. Please don't be like that. Its really no fun at all. And unfortunately at the end of the day there are still going to be mean people in this world. Its so crazy to me because you could literally be the nicest person on the planet and there would still be some bitter person saying "they don't like you because you're too nice". Like how does that even make sense. So you should just wear what you want, do your makeup how you want, listen to whatever music you want and be who you are. Its totally okay to explore different styles and find what you like, but if you realize that somethings not for you, then don't stick to it because its what other people want or because its what's trendy. Find who you are and find what makes you happy because ITS YOUR LIFE, YOU DESERVE HAPPINESS.
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